Dealing with Mommy Guilt
Mom guilt - damned if we do - and damned if we don’t...
The guilt that Moms have to deal with today is real…
I’ve been on both sides of the coin, and here’s how I learned to deal with it.
When I stopped working to stay at home with my daughter, a piece of me felt like a burden to my husband. I was used to being an independent woman who always had at least 2 jobs, shell shocked would be a great way to explain it.
Maybe you feel guilty that you aren’t living up to the “mom” expectations that society has placed on us. How did she get her body back so fast? I never looked that good nursing! Lipstick - at preschool drop off? You’re lucky I brushed my teeth. How many activities do these moms sign up for? These are all questions I’ve asked myself at one time or another, and I’m sure plenty of my fellow moms out there have done the same. You aren’t alone, and what you’re doing is enough, I promise.
These are just 2 examples of the way I suffered with my mom guilt when I stayed at home, but for the length of this blog, let’s flip the script and talk about working moms.
10 freakin’ years.
That’s the amount of time that I stayed at home with my children - I’ve now just celebrated a year in business. Can I just say…
STANDING FUCKING OVATION for all of the working moms out there - IT. IS. NOT. EASY.
The sheer ability to work a job (full or part-time) and/or run a business - WHILE maintaining a house full of children, partners, and animals - sometimes confusing all 3 of them - is REMARKABLE.
However, the woman I grew to become during this journey - did not exist a year ago. The high of running a business, learning to better myself every day, and changing people’s lives came at a price. Mom guilt of course.
Suddenly I wasn’t there 24/7. I couldn’t make every school performance, or sports game, or family party. But I started a business, and with great success comes great sacrifice, and I want to empower other women through health and wellness. So guess what, sometimes you have to miss shit.
The guilt creeps in - maybe people whisper - your kids are disappointed (or so you think)…
Last Mother’s Day my daughter wrote me a poem. One of the lines read, “My mom is always there when we need her to be”.
“…WHEN WE NEED HER…”
The example you are setting by going and living your dream, and/or taking care of your family financially - is something your children notice. Even if they don’t always vocalize it.
Emulate a work ethic that your children are proud of - and one that you would be proud of if they had it. Just remember - it’s all about balance.
The guilt will always creep in - whether you stay at home or go to work. The way I learned to deal with both was the same way.
Why am I doing what I am doing? Does this path make sense? For whom? AM I HAPPY?
